My name's Michaela and I'm a massive dork, but you can follow if you like 🍩

your fuckin horoscope

thefuuuucomics:

Aries - Selfish Prick

Taurus - Stubborn Asshole

Gemini - Annoying Attention-Whore

Cancer - Moody Jerk

Leo - Egotistical Douchebag

Virgo - Neurotic Bitch

Libra - Flaky Derelict

Scorpio - Obsessive Twat

Sagittarius - Awkward Fucktard

Capricorn -Greedy Emo

Aquarius - Perverted Psychopath

Pisces - Whiny Bimbo

(Source: chocolateshoes, via greenlght)

headphones-in-do-not-disturb:

theorgyorganizer:

fuck education who wants to start a band

your URL makes me suspicious of your intentions with this band.

(via bangthedoctor)

crocobaby:

Do you think every president goes through a awkward first few weeks in office when they’re not sure when’s the right time to ask if aliens are real or not?

(via bangthedoctor)

partybarackisinthehousetonight:

i romantically stand outside your window and hold up my iPhone to blast our song. a 30 second ad plays first

(via zaynsbro)

710642:

well? can he????
shitshilarious:

queerqueerspawn:

james-tiqueerius:

queerqueerspawn:

glampersand:

glowcloud:

kittiesinqueerland:

robalyn:

the highlighted area is where Jason Derulo knows what the girls want. london to taiwan.

new york to haiti

greenland is right out

ummm no offense but new york to haiti should be measured as the area between the two latitudes, not the longitudes. this graph is incorrect and vastly underestimates the total region of the earth in which Jason Derulo knows what the girls want

Even measuring that way, Greenland remains right out, as does the entirity of Brazil.

Have we considered measuring by neither latitude nor longitude but in all area that would extend perpendicular from the diagonal of the two places?There are many different interpretations of the data, and until more is available, we ought not conclude anything at this point.

In light of that, I posit this alternative map of regions where Jason Derulo is potentially claiming where he knows what girls want:

As we can see, if we assume that model, the vast majority of the area where Jason Derulo knows what girls want is either open ocean (the Atlantic, the Mediterranean Sea) or sparsely populated (the northern Sahara, the northern Arabian Desert, various desert portions of Iran and Afghanistan, and the southern Tibetan Plateau). Four of the ten most populated countries on the planet have no territory in it (Nigeria, Brazil, Japan, and Indonesia), and two which do have relatively little territory in it (the US and Russia). It is suggested that for all his boasting, Jason Derulo does not know what a probable majority of the world’s girls want.

Perhaps Jason Derulo’s intention was never to proclaim to be omnipotent to the interests of the female gender. Perhaps he was instead expressing his humanity, or the limits of his knowledge. I applaud Jason Derulo. Jason Derulo is not just another 2 dimensional character. Jason Derulo has depth.Jason Derulo has limitations and has come to terms with them. Jason Derulo knows Jason Derulo. Thats why he makes it a point to say his name so much.
yanapieceofme:

Me when I’m forced to go anywhere.